For those of you who don't know... this is the love of my life, the keeper of my heart, the roo to my pinder, my amazing, lovable, entertainer LUCY!!! so i guess 6 years ago i really realized that dog is "mans" best friend! i don't know what i would do without her! she is my babe, my love... it sounds funny to some people but she is my baby, i treat her like my little baby! i baby talk her, i carry her to bed at night, i give her a piece of chicken every time i eat chicken, well... any meat for that matter! when my ex and i broke up, i had to say good-bye to her... it was the hardest thing i ever had to do! my exes mom brought her to me while my ex gets back on his feet! so for now, she is with me! she cuddles me every night, and when it looks like I'm about to fall asleep, she gets up and goes to the bottom of my bed and sleeps between my legs! this used to be uncomfortable, but i learned to live with it, and now its just normal! she hogs my bed! and she always has to get all the attention! she has a lot of character to, she gives me attitude, she talks back, but i tell her how it is! all in all, i love my dog and i just wanted to share that with you!

-xoxo-

writers block

writers block... what is it? it is terrible, that's all i know! frustrating! when you want to write and you start to, but three or four sentences in, your scribbling it out or crumpling up the paper and throwing it away!! i always felt like writing should come so easy to a good writer! maybe I'm not a good writer! maybe i need to enhance my skills? who knows, i know that i love to write and to me, that's really all that counts! so, this week, I'm going to try to do some research on children's books, demographics, self-publishing and so on... try to learn about the things that will help me further myself in this area of  my life! we'll see! I'm gonna get down to it and take notes! if i could publish a children's book, i would be so happy!! my ultimate goal is to have a series... I'm not gonna get into detail, but maybe you will all see one day!

new to blogging

ya know... i always have so much to say on many topics, but when i open up my blog and get ready to type... nothing comes out! im new to blogging but im not new to thinking and writing! why is it so hard for me to take my thoughts out of my head and type them onto a screen! i was looking into how to make money blogging, and unless you have tons of visitors to your blog its not really worth it, not to mention i couldnt figure out what i was doing wrong trying to sign up for the advertising function but it wasnt working! i wonder what people want to read about?! soo if you have any suggestions on what you want to see me write about or opinionate on... please leave a comment telling me! thanks!!
-xoxo-

*YOU*

i love you!

i think about you

all the time.

i need you!

i crave your kisses

at ten past nine!

i want you!

to feel your touch

your body upon mine.

i miss you!

i suffer from heartbreak

im sure its a sign!

~i miss you~

my heart, my mind, my soul is lost

so many decisions at such a high cost

staring up at a lonely star in the sky

asking the repeated question of why?

why are you so far away

way up high past the milky way

up in heaven dreaming of peace

stolen from us by an awful disease

cancer is the disease's name

it came on strong, with no shame

it feeds upon those that we love

feeling its something to be afraid of

knowing that you have to say good-bye

friends and family will start to cry

leaving your body and loved ones behind

feeling as though you are going blind

you were taken from us and we are mad

but mostly i miss you, and i am so sad!

**my Lucy**

about me... in detail!

my name is Angie Marie Brenner... my birthday is September 13th which means im a Virgo! thats right, Virgo-the purest of hearts! i grew up in North Delta BC, which is (to me) the best place to grow up! i lived in the same house the first 20 years of my life... i have a mom, dad and three older brothers! i used to think of myself as weird, but now i think of myself as unique... different... and thats just fine with me! my best friend is Alana! she is my rock... we have known each other since we were four but became best friends at the tender age of thirteen... my first concert was with her and every concert since has been with her! she is my sounding board, the good angel on my right shoulder! her family is like my second family! my three brothers also have significant others... whom i can freely call my sisters... growing up with brothers was hard, all i ever wanted was a sister and now i am blessed to have many! my parents divorced when i was eleven (first tough moment of my life) they are both remarried and happy so i guess it didnt turn out that bad! i used to blame all my issues and problems on being the product of a broken home, but now i know its just who i am! i feel like my parents failed marriage is responsible for shaping my beliefs of today... not in a bad way, for example... i never want to allow myself to go through what my mom went through, not saying my dad is a bad guy-he just wasnt the husband for her... and it took her too long to realize it! i have made myself believe that if i were ever in a relationship that was no good for me, i would put an end to it, life is too short to be unhappy! although i feel this is what i would do, i did stay in a failing relationship for a few too many years! i loved him (very much) but when it came down to it, i wasnt happy... so last year (2010) i left that relationship to be on my own! it was one of the hardest things i ever had to do! from this relationship came a dog, a pug, named Lucy! she is my baby, and i love her soooo fricken much! anyways, i am currently in a relationship with a great guy who treats me how i always wanted to be treated! back to my childhood... i grew up wishing my brothers would accept me and play with me but being the only girl and the youngest... i was left out quite often! so from this my imagination grew and i didnt ever need someone to entertain me, i was good at playing by myself! music has always been a big part of my life... the first group i remember liking were the new kids on the block... micheal jackson and paula abdual... i can always find a song that i feel relates to my life! but back to the subject of me! i grew up yearning for my dad to pay attention to me, being the only girl, i always wanted to be daddies little princess... needless to say i never was! after my parents divorce i butted heads with my mom a lot... maybe cause i blamed her for my dad leaving, maybe cause we are so much alike... when i was about 16 my mom wrote me a letter explaining her feelings and all of the sudden it clicked... my mom wasnt some powerful person who was never affected by anything... she was a woman, trying to raise four teenagers... she herself was scared and fighting to stay close with her kids! i dont blame her for decisions she made and i appreciate the life she gave me... without her, who knows where i would be! my dad and mom both got remarried while i was in junior high... which was tough! my oldest brother also got married while i was in junior high! i couldnt have been happier for my brother but i resented my parents for moving on when i still felt so hurt by the split! my brothers wife was the first "sister" i had! she was 16 when they started dating and i was 11... her friend actually gave me my first puff of a cigarette! i used to stay up late and hang out with them, walk to the store when it was dark! she made me feel like i was actually a part of my brothers life! another one of my brothers got married and i feel close to his wife as well! both of these women i feel like i can be myself and tell them anything! my other brother isnt married yet, but i hope he does it soon :) i have always loved animals! i grew up with lots of them! i went through a few dogs, a few cats and a lot of other types of animals who lived in my house! i think thats all im gonna say for right now! stay tuned for more blogs about me, music, movies, animals and just plain old life!
xoxo

my very first post...

this is the first time i will be writing on here... i will be telling you about me, my life, my friends, my family, my dog, my boyfriend and anything else that crosses paths with my mind! im excited to be doing this... ive wanted to be a writer for as long as i can remember! one day i would love to write childrens books! i currently have four nieces and one nephew who i think i am going to base my books on! so this is just a little bit about me, ill add more when it comes to me!
xoxo